This post I am writing isn't intensely theological, but it is more of my own reflection. It's funny, but God said no to me regarding at least three jobs, if not more, over the summer. I thought I would have done well as a Boy Scout professional, or as a DRE, or as many of the things I applied for over the summer, but looking back, there would have been something lacking in every job. This realization makes me realize that God was having me wait for something else. He wanted me to go to Philadelphia, to live with a bunch of Catholic guys, and to work at St. Charles Seminary. He wanted me to live here for some reason, and over the course of the last month and a half I have started to figure that out.
The job I have is wonderful, and it was really God who planted me into that job. I work full time for priestly vocations, and nothing can make me happier than doing that. But still, being inundated at work by this great work, I really don't feel called myself to actually become a priest. There is a distinct difference. I am perfectly content to just stay behind the scenes and do great works from there. I am perfectly happy and even joyful about the fact that at the end of the work day, I can leave seminary, while the seminarians have to stay. I am not a seminarian, nor do I feel like a seminarian, nor do I aspire to become one.
I do feel strongly called to marriage. I hope that as a layman in the Church I can continue to work for vocations, even if not on a professional level, as a non-professional hobby of mine. I feel like my gift to the world is that I am called to marriage and I pray that my marriage will be an example for others to live up to. This is my gift which I hope to give the world, especially when the world devalues the importance of the sacredness of marriage. Marriage is an intimate union between a man and woman, which requires in every sexual act unity and openness to children. Contraception is intrinsically evil because it separates these two things. When contraception is used, a couple is actively taking actions to say that they are not open to children, which is one of the fruits of the marital act of love making. As a result of the contracepting act, there is also disunity.
My gift to the world is to live Christ like in my marriage. I want to totally give myself to and for my future wife. It is, within my vocation, my ultimate gift of sacrifice. A man and woman, in matrimony, self-empty themselves for the sake of the other. The desire I have for the married life is a strong pull in my life, and I look for a woman who I can give myself totally to, and I look for a woman who totally gives herself to me. It is a reciprocal relationship that is essential for the survival of the marriage.
Now, marriage is also hard. It is one's vocation, and each one is called to put up with the other, through thick or thin. In sickness and in health. For richer or poorer. It is here that the self emptying is most important. You must be 100% committed, or else when tough times happen, one party or the other would be tempted to walk away, or even run away. But true love means a total commitment, even in the hard times. It is in the hard times that love is even more important.
Never go to bed angry with your wife or husband. Guys, always kiss them before you leave for work. Tell her that her cooking was good one night. Tell them that they look pretty. Be ready to apologize, and that goes for both parties. And be ready to accept that apology, and that also goes for both parties. Learn from mistakes, and when you make them again, learn from them again. Above all, put family first, except your belief in God and your worship of Him. And really, that is a family thing, not an either/or.
This has gotten sort of poetic, and I don't know to whom I am writing this. But, for some reason, I felt compelled to write, and this is what came out. And for that I am glad.
Take care everyone.