Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Prepare the Way of the Lord

I continue to be delinquent in my posts on this blog. I am currently working hard to keep another blog up to date. That one is www.HeedingTheCall.blogspot.com. It is a blog for the Vocation Office for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, and I try to put something up at least once per week, something related to priestly discernment and vocation.

But for this blog, I offer a little meditation for this Sunday's Gospel. We are progressing through the Season of Advent, the season in which we are mindful of the Love of God, because He gave us His Son for the sake of our salvation. We are constantly in a time of preparation and waiting, but the Season of Advent reminds us to be extra vigilant.

The Gospel of Mark immediately goes back to the prophet Isaiah, when the Evangelist says "Make ready the way of the Lord, clear him a straight path." When we hear this passage, we can take it perhaps two different ways. The first is a literal way, sanctifying one's surroundings as a way to prepare for the Lord. One may, in one's home, put a little Nativity Scene to remind us to prepare the way of the Lord. We may light candles, and maybe even burn incense.

The second way if a spiritual way. Instead of lighting candles in your home, God lights our hearts with the fire of His love. In this way of preparing for the Lord, we look to an interior cleansing as a way to grow closer in love of God. Advent is a special time to be mindful of growing in love of God, with graces given to us by God. So what are things we can do to dispose ourselved to these graces in this time or preparation? Prayer is the first order of business. By partaking in daily prayer, we are setting aside time every day to strengthen our relationship with God. I always say that in order to strengthen any relationship, there must be communication, and when there isn't communication, the relationship stalls.

The same is true of God. We must continually talk to him, and when we don't, our subjective relationship with him stalls. We must distinguish between an objective relationship and a subjective one. The objective will remain the same: A baptized man or woman will always remain an adopted child of God, for example. Nothing you do can change that, but the subjective flows from that, and makes us ask, how can we, from graces received at Baptism, continue to strengthen our relationship? And the answer is communication. Jesus speaks to us as well, but most of the time, unless we are Saint Paul, we must dispose ourselves to hear what he is saying. That involves quiet in a loud world. Sometimes that silent prayer is a sacrifice. There is always something else to do, but to take 10-15 minutes to pray can sometimes seem impossible to fit into a schedule. It involves sacrifice, and discipline.

So there are many simple things you can do to sanctify your day, preparing for yourself to prepare the way of the Lord. Many churches at this time of year have little meditation books in the back of Church that you can use for your meditation. They usually take 10 minutes at most. One of my Advent goals is to go through one such meditation book, and every day, praying through that meditation. Another way to prepare for the coming of Christ at Christmas is to pray the Rosary every day. Now, sometimes, we can say: "But doesn't it take like 30 minutes to pray?" I offer you this: First, it take at most 25 minutes if you pray it reverently, 20 if you move at a faster pace. But no matter how fast or slow you may pray the Rosary, you can always pray it in the car on the way to and from work. I typically pray a Rosary on the way into work every day, and sometimes I pray it going home. I think of it as a sacrifice when I could be listening to Christmas music. There is also daily Mass; one can benefit greatly from abundant graces recieved at Holy Mass, so I would really recommend this one if you want to get the most out of the Season.

Many people do not realize that like the Season of Lent, Advent is a penetential season. Unlike Lent, Advent isn't a good time to give up your favorite food, since there are a number of parties during the season. I would hate to give up chocolate and go to three or four parties with big chocolate fountains. It would drive me nuts. There are other things to either give up, or to take up. Prayer is a great thing to take up, and it might be good to give up something like talking on the cell phone in the car when driving. First, it will free you up to offer prayer instead of chatter, and second, you will be a safer driver.

Preparing the way of the Lord is an important theme in Advent; it is the Season of Waiting, and so we await the coming of Christmas, that special day in which we remember the birthday of Jesus, who came into the world for the salvation of mankind. In the midst of all the parties, all the shopping, Christmas cards, and caroling, we must set aside some time to remember the real reason for all of those things. May you continue to have a safe and holy Advent, and may you strive to have the faith of a child, for Christ has taught us what it means to be a child by His birth at Christmas. Take care, and God bless you all.

St. Nicholas, pray for us.
St. Francis Xavier, pray for us.
Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, pray for us.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's Amazing

When I look at the way that God works in my life, it is always amazing. The people he puts in my life, the situations, the circumstances; everything happens for a reason, a plan. That is God's divine plan. And I humbly approach it with joy. I have joy in my life. When I have a bad day at work, you are always there to give me a boost. And for that I am grateful. I have trouble not thinking of you during the day. I hope that I can love in the imitation and shadow of our Lord's Cross, which is the ultimate symbol of love, that of sacrifice. I desire to sacrifice myself for that one out there with whom I am supposed to be. I have so many thoughts in my heart right now that I can't express in words; all I can hope to do is to bask in the love of God, the love I feel in my heart. Love isn't merely affection, it is sacrifice. We are all called to love, and we are all called to sacrifice. What have I sacrificed today? Am I willing to sacrifice? I pray that I am.

Monday, October 6, 2008

On Embryonic Stem Cell Research

This is a paper I wrote over the Summer after the USCCB's statement on Embryonic Stem Cell Research came out in June at their meetings. It was something I wanted to do as a way to keep up on the moral implications of stem cell research. We must remember that there is a difference between embryonic and adult stem cells.

It should be noted that this paper was edited by Father Tad Pacholczyk, the leading Catholic Bio-Ethicist on Embryonic Stem Cell Research. Father Tad is currently the Director of Education at the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia. His website is: http://www.ncbcenter.org/makingsense.asp

Concerning Embryonic Stem Cell Research: An Analysis on the recent statement by the USCCB "On Embryonic Stem Cell Research"
www.militia-immaculata.blogspot.com

June 23, 2008

The statement regarding embryonic stem cell research, put forth by the USCCB on June 13, 2008, uses an important maxim: "The Catholic Church 'appreciates and encourages the progress of the biomedical sciences which open up unprecedented therapeutic prospects' (Pope Benedict XVI, Address of January 31, 2008). At the same time, it affirms that true service to humanity begins with respect for each and every human life."[1] In this statement, the USCCB is putting forth two positions that the Church holds regarding scientific progress and inquiry; the first, that the Church does not stifle, but rather encourages every form of ethical research in biomedicine; the second, that scientific inquiry's root ethical criterion be a respect for each and every human life. Scientific inquiry that fails this criterion does not serve humanity.

The beginning of the document discusses what exactly stem cell research is. According to the document, "Stem cells are relatively unspecified cells that, when they divide, can replicate themselves and also produce a variety of more specialized cells."[2] There is much promise for stem cells, not only today, but in the future. Stem cells may one day provide cures to many of the leading causes of death in the world, including heart disease and cancer. There are adult stem cells, which can be obtained from adult tissues in various parts of the body, and there are embryonic stem cells. While the adult stem cells involve no moral qualms about their retrieval, there is much ethical concern over the obtaining and use of embryonic stem cells in the biomedical field. This document by the USCCB discusses many of the ethical problems regarding embryonic stem cell research. It also sheds light on the promises of adult stem cell research.

The document "On Embryonic Stem Cell Research" not only states the objective consequences regarding embryonic stem cell research, but also offers a compelling explanation of those arguments against the practice of embryonic stem cell research. The ethical problem surrounding embryonic stem cell research is that in order to obtain the stem cells from the embryo, there is the necessary killing of the embryo, something the statement calls to mind: "Harvesting these "embryonic stem cells" involves the deliberate killing of innocent human beings, a gravely immoral act."[3]

However, the statement calls to mind that there are some in the medical community and in the public sector who find such harvesting of stem cells a morally licit act. The statement puts forth three arguments which need to be evaluated. The first is that "any harm done in this case [harvesting embryonic stem cells] is outweighed by the potential benefits."[4] This is the typical utilitarian argument, that any action, done for a good end, is then itself necessarily a good action. Applying this to the case of harvesting embryonic stem cells for research and medical advances, a proponent of embryonic stem cell research would argue that so much good can come from the harvesting of such stem cells, that these good things necessarily outweigh any putatively morally bad factors. Thus, the good results of embryonic stem cells outweigh the evil of destroying embryonic humans. The statement says: "No commitment to a hoped-for 'greater good' can erase or diminish the wrong of directly taking innocent human lives here and now."[5] The greater good mentality tries to erase moral qualms regarding actions we commit now, looking for the future to justify those acts. Much of the evil we experienced in the 20th century was a direct result of this type of thinking; one such example was inhumane and cruel experiments conducted on prisoners of Nazi concentration camps for the sake of "advancing science." The USCCB statement calls to mind that in this ethical system, the patient we help today can be sacrificed tomorrow if that patient "is viewed as disadvantaging other human beings considered more deserving or productive."[6] In this flawed ethical system, a patient with Alzheimer's disease can easily be disposed of if he inhibits the productive living of someone else. Both actions are the killing of a human being (in different stages of life), and both are viewed as good for the future of a particular group of people. So the person we may help today through the destruction of a an embryo can be disposed of tomorrow for the same reason we destroyed that embryonic human.

The second common argument that the statement cites is that "what is destroyed is not a human life, or at least not a human being with fundamental human rights."[7] The USCCB initially discusses the first position, that a human life is not destroyed. Stating biological fact, the "new living organism has the full complement of human genes and is actively expressing those genes to live and develop."[8] The embryo is a member of the species Homo sapiens. The statement reminds us that each of us was once an embryo, and embryonic development is but a natural progression of human development, like any other stage in life. We can ask what a human life looks like before she is born, and we can point to a human embryo. Some still claim that while the embryo may be a human life, "life at this stage is too weak or underdeveloped, too lacking in physical or mental abilities, to have full human worth or human rights."[9] The Bishop’s statement argues that we have human rights based simply on the fact that we are members of the human family. If we rely on things that can change, appear, disappear, or vary among different humans in order to determine fundamental rights, then what we really have is a lack of inherent human rights not only for embryos, but for every person. What we end up with is a system where whoever has power has privileges, while the rest are disposable. The USCCB statement reminds us that in 1776, the signers of the Declaration of Independence took for granted basic human rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In the name of that right to life articulated even 232 years ago, the document encourages us to acknowledge how embryonic stem cell research directly violates that right.

The third argument that the statement puts forth is that "dissecting human embryos for their cells should not be seen as involving a loss of human life."[10] This position begins by arguing that embryos that are spare or unwanted should be donated to science. Because these embryos are going to die anyway, it is irrelevant how we treat them. But the document responds that everybody is going to eventually die. Clearly, though, because we are going to die eventually does not suggest that people have a right to kill us for the sake of medical advancement. The statement reminds us that "our society does not permit lethal experiments on terminally ill patients or condemned prisoners on the pretext that they will soon die anyway."[11] Although this argument does not state it, the counterargument presupposes inherent human rights and dignity, as defended in the second argument.

Once the practice of embryonic stem cell research becomes a regular practice in biomedical labs, we must look at the necessary consequence, the creation of human embryos via “nuclear transfer” for the sake of such research. This practice is commonly called cloning, something our society has seen in the past 12 years, beginning with the cloning of Dolly the sheep in 1996. The USCCB warns sternly against the practice of human cloning for embryonic stem cell research: "Human cloning is intrinsically evil because it reduces human procreation to a mere manufacturing process, producing new human beings in the laboratory to predetermined specifications as though they were commodities."[12] In this act of generating life, cloning shows grave disrespect for human life. It reduces human procreation to a mere utility for the sake of ulterior research purposes.

The USCCB statement references a better way to practice stem cell research. They refer to stem cells from adults, which are "more versatile that once thought."[13] These stem cells also do not raising the moral qualms which embryonic stem cells raise. Stem cells can be found in adult tissue, including adult tissues, and umbilical cord blood. These stem cells have been successful in treatments for heart disease, cancer, and even paralysis. Scientists have even learned to develop "new non-destructive methods for producing cells with the properties of embryonic stem cells- for example, by 'reprogramming' adult cells."[14] This refers to morph regular cells into pluripotent stem cells. The USCCB statement says that "Catholic foundations and medical centers have been, and will continue to be, among the leading supporters of ethically responsible advances in the medical use of adult stem cells."[15].

In conclusion, the USCCB posits a question, "how are we to use science in the future?" Will we ignore the grave ethical responsibilities that are ours and use the most vulnerable of our society as mere guinea pigs for scientific progress, or will we stand up and take responsibility for the lives that are in our care, to ensure that human life does not become a mere commodity for the sake of scientific advancement? In the end, we must promote "ethically responsible ways that respect the dignity of each human being."[16]

[1] On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. Page One.
[2] Ibid. Page One.
[3]On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. Page One
[4] Ibid. Page Two.
[5] Ibid. Page Two.
[6]On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. Page Two.
[7] Ibid. page Two.
[8] Ibid. Page Three.
[9] Ibid. Page Three.
[10] On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. Page Two.
[11] Ibid. Page Four.
[12]On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. page Five.
[13] Ibid. Page Six.
[14] Ibid. Page Six.
[15] Ibid. Page Six.
[16]On Embryonic Stem Cell Research. USCCB. 2008. Page Seven.

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Sunday, October 5, 2008

God is Good

Have you ever looked back at a certain time in your life and realized that God was completely at work?  I left seminary in Mary with a couple of job prospects, and they all fell through.  There was a time over the Summer where I felt that I had made a mistake by leaving, but I knew that I didn't make a mistake.  I knew that if I just persevere, God will help me through.  

This post I am writing isn't intensely theological, but it is more of my own reflection.  It's funny, but God said no to me regarding at least three jobs, if not more, over the summer.  I thought I would have done well as a Boy Scout professional, or as a DRE, or as many of the things I applied for over the summer, but looking back, there would have been something lacking in every job.  This realization makes me realize that God was having me wait for something else.  He wanted me to go to Philadelphia, to live with a bunch of Catholic guys, and to work at St. Charles Seminary.  He wanted me to live here for some reason, and over the course of the last month and a half I have started to figure that out.

The job I have is wonderful, and it was really God who planted me into that job.  I work full time for priestly vocations, and nothing can make me happier than doing that.  But still, being inundated at work by this great work, I really don't feel called myself to actually become a priest.  There is a distinct difference.  I am perfectly content to just stay behind the scenes and do great works from there.  I am perfectly happy and even joyful about the fact that at the end of the work day, I can leave seminary, while the seminarians have to stay.  I am not a seminarian, nor do I feel like a seminarian, nor do I aspire to become one.  

I do feel strongly called to marriage.  I hope that as a layman in the Church I can continue to work for vocations, even if not on a professional level, as a non-professional hobby of mine.  I feel like my gift to the world is that I am called to marriage and I pray that my marriage will be an example for others to live up to.  This is my gift which I hope to give the world, especially when the world devalues the importance of the sacredness of marriage.  Marriage is an intimate union between a man and woman, which requires in every sexual act unity and openness to children.  Contraception is intrinsically evil because it separates these two things.  When contraception is used, a couple is actively taking actions to say that they are not open to children, which is one of the fruits of the marital act of love making.  As a result of the contracepting act, there is also disunity.  

My gift to the world is to live Christ like in my marriage.  I want to totally give myself to and for my future wife.  It is, within my vocation, my ultimate gift of sacrifice.  A man and woman, in matrimony, self-empty themselves for the sake of the other.  The desire I have for the married life is a strong pull in my life, and I look for a woman who I can give myself totally to, and I look for a woman who totally gives herself to me.  It is a reciprocal relationship that is essential for the survival of the marriage.

Now, marriage is also hard.  It is one's vocation, and each one is called to put up with the other, through thick or thin.  In sickness and in health.  For richer or poorer.  It is here that the self emptying is most important.  You must be 100% committed, or else when tough times happen, one party or the other would be tempted to walk away, or even run away.  But true love means a total commitment, even in the hard times.  It is in the hard times that love is even more important.  

Never go to bed angry with your wife or husband.  Guys, always kiss them before you leave for work.  Tell her that her cooking was good one night.  Tell them that they look pretty.  Be ready to apologize, and that goes for both parties.  And be ready to accept that apology, and that also goes for both parties.  Learn from mistakes, and when you make them again, learn from them again.  Above all, put family first, except your belief in God and your worship of Him.  And really, that is a family thing, not an either/or.  

This has gotten sort of poetic, and I don't know to whom I am writing this.  But, for some reason, I felt compelled to write, and this is what came out.  And for that I am glad.  

Take care everyone.  

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Wedding Feast at Cana


The Luminous Mysteries, which our late great Pope John Paul II instituted in his 2002 Apostolic Letter "Rosarium Virginis Mariam", is intended to allow for the meditation on the life of Christ in between Jesus being lost in the temple when He was twelve, up to Holy Thursday, the night before his Passion and death. Now of course, there are many events between these specific events that the Holy Father could have picked as appropriate mysteries on which to meditate. But the ones he picked could be the home runs of events, or the touchdowns, or whatever sports analogy you want to use.


The five mysteries are: Jesus's baptism, the Wedding Feast at Cana, Proclamation of the Kingdom and Call to Repentence, Transfiguration, and the Institution of the Eucharist. There is, when you look at the list, a real focus on the sacraments. In fact, four of the five relate directly with four different sacraments. Of course you have baptism, matrimony (as is evident in Cana), and the Instutition of the Eucharist which explicitly refer to three sacraments that Catholics profess, and three that most take part in (priests aren't conferred upon them matrimony, but rather Holy Orders).


But what about the fourth? You have the Proclamation of the Kingdom and the Call to Repentence. So it is a call and reponse. Jesus does the calling, and the people who hear his word responds appropriately. Jesus proclaims the kingdom of heaven, which is then revealed again at the Transfiguration, and our response is repentence of our sins, which one can point to as reconciliation with God, which takes place in an intimate way in the sacrament of confession. It is this third mystery that links the sacramental with the Kingdom.


But this is just an introduction to what I would like to write about today. The Wedding Feast of Cana is a beautiful passage that shows Jesus' approval of such a life, the married life. It also shows the relationship that Jesus has with his mother, Mary, and how we can use this as a model for how Mary intercedes for us.


So Jesus, Mary, and Jesus' disciples are at a wedding in Cana. Weddings around this time period were quite big events. Unlike today's weddings which usually last a day, the weddings of this time period lasted for a whole week, and it was a giant celebration. It starts off by saying "On the third day there was a wedding". This could mean it was three days after Jesus' encounter with Nathanael, or it could mean it was the third day of the wedding. Anyway, they ran out of wine, and Mary tells Jesus this. Many people speculate that Jesus' response was rude and unflattering to Mary, "Woman, how does your concern affect me?" He calls her woman. Our non-Catholic brethren out there may use this as an example and an opportunity to say: "You see, Mary wasn't special, she was just another woman because of the way Jesus addresses her." But the Church gives us a different understanding. Mary is often considered the new Eve, as her radical Fiat, her radical yes, undid the sin of Eve. Eve opened herself up the sin, Mary opened herself up to the savior of the world, Jesus, "he who takes away the sins of the world". And in the story of Genesis, before she was named Eve, she was merely called "Woman." And you can also notice that she did not receive the name of Eve until after the fall (Gen 3:20). So by calling her woman, Jesus is referring to the pre-fall condition of the Woman, that of a sinless being created by God, free of sin. And these are important considerations for Mary's Assumption, as according to some Church fathers, Assumption into heaven was what death was like before the Fall. But because of original sin, Assumption doesn't happen. But because Mary is freed from original sin (because Mary is full of grace), Assumption takes place. So really, when Jesus calls Mary "Woman", he is pointing to the reality of Mary, that of a sinless woman created by God to be the mother of all the living, like the Woman in Genesis was before the Fall.


There is another thing happening when Mary tells Jesus that they have no wine. It is a mirror into the relationship they have now. Mary interceded for the wedding guests so their party could continue. This is precedent that Mary does intercede for us as well. It didn't just end at Cana, but rather she still intercedes for us with things that we may need. This is why we pray to Mary, not because we consider her divine, but rather she is still interceding for us. We ask Mary for favors, which she then turns to Jesus and says "please grant this prayer of mine for this person." That is why in the Hail Mary, we say "pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death."


The third point I would like to make is regarding John 2:5, "Do whatever He tells you." This is what Mary says to servers at the wedding. And Mary has it right. It all comes down to the Christocentric reality that Jesus is the one. Mary doesn't say "Do whatever I tell you". In eastern icons we always see Mary pointing to Jesus. You can say that Mary's telos, or end, is Jesus Himself, as is our end. We are constantly seeking Jesus, at least implicitly. We learn from Mary's humble obedience a great way of following Jesus, by being completely obedient. In the west there is the Latin saying "Ad Jesum Per Mariam", to Jesus through Mary. We learn what it takes to be a complete disciple of the Christ by following in the footsteps of His mother. Her call to "Do whatever He tells you" is a reflection of her radical Fiat, when the angel Gabriel tells her that she would be the mother of the Most High, and it is then that she says "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word." We are called to be handmaids, and to be completely obedient to God through the example of Mary, and all the saints who have gone before us. Saints are proof that living a Christ centered life is possible. And so in discernment about something, the response you should have is to do whatever He tells you. It is there that you will find complete joy and happiness with what you do.
May God bless you, and may you always remain close to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the example of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. O Mary, Conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Update

Yes, I have been delinquent with the updating of this blog. I have been very busy looking for a full time job, and that in itself has been a full time job. But, there is good news in the front.

I am starting a new job on September 2nd in Philadelphia, doing full time event planning for the office of vocations in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. It looks to be an exciting job with a lot of potential. Some of my hobbies outside of work will include doing youth ministry in a parish (to be determined), picking up a Rosetta Stone language to learn (I am thinking Latin first, and then French) and writing more consistently on this blog on matters of Marian Devotion and Eucharistic Devotion, and seminary living. The last blog topic, seminary living, is most appropriate, since my office is in a seminary in Philadelphia. But, in retrospect, all three are appropriate, since Eucharistic and Marian Devotion thrive in seminary life. It is the Eucharist, a sign of the self giving sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross, who nourishes our souls, and conforms ourselves to be more and more like Jesus Himself. For the seminarian, who is preparing to be in persona Christi, it is especially important to nourish himself with the food from heaven, Jesus in the Eucharist Himself. To be ordained a priest of Jesus Christ is to be conformed to Christ, to be an alter Christus. If we are conforming ourselves to Christ, what better way than to receive Him in the Eucharist?

But it isn't just the seminarian who is conforming himself to Christ. Every person who receives the Eucharist is conforming himself to Christ, whether he knows it or not. Jesus enters into us literally in the Eucharist. Now, I can continue on for a while. In fact, I had not intended to really get into an actual post. My basic point of this post was to let people know when to start expecting new posts. But really, the basic point of this post is to give the reader a bit of the Gospel, an important bit: The Eucharist and the reality of His saving power. Let us pray for individuals who see the Eucharist as merely a sign. We must remember that faith is always a gift from God, we can't merit it on our own, but only through God's grace. Let us pray for the grace of God to strengthen our own faith in the Eucharist, and let us also pray for an individual we may know in our life who doesn't yet believe in the Eucharist and the total Truth behind it. Let us pray that individuals we know may come to know the truth and the power of the Eucharist, and its sign of love and salvation given to us through Jesus' death on the cross.

Our Lady of the Assumption, Pray for us.

PS- Please pray for me in this transition to Philadelphia. I don't know the city at all, I don't know anybody there, and I am starting to get anxious.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Tempus Fugit, Momento Mori

Today I went to the beach with some family members. I was pretty excited about going today, since the wave forecast was high due to Hurricane Bertha being in the Atlantic. I was ready to go out and get some pretty big waves.

When we got there, we got just that, big waves. They were some of the biggest I have seen at Rehoboth Beach. After a little while, the group of us decided to go in the water. We were floating out there for a while, far enough out that we were still able to go over the big waves without a problem. But then the problem came.

We looked out and we saw a pretty massive wave, probably approaching ten feet high, cresting really early. Where I was, there was no chance that I would get over it, and the chances were slim I was going to be able to dive under it. It crashed down in front of me. The strategy I came up with was to go under the water before the wave water came over me. I dived down. I felt above me the water rushing past me. Then I felt something that I tried to avoid: the rushing water taking me and battering me around. I was gasping for air. I couldn't even find the air, so I stuck my hand out to see if I could touch the air. The first time I couldn't. The second outreach I was able to find the air, and I finally gasped for a breath.

I wiped the water from my eyes just in time to see a second wave, even bigger than before, cresting in front of me. Again, there was no chance for me to get around it. Still struggling to gain air from the previous battle, I went under again, hoping to avoid the foam of the wave. To no avail, I again went through what I went through with the first wave. This time it took a bit longer to find the air.

I again wiped the water from my eyes and gasped for air before another, a third giant wave slammed into me. This time, the sunglasses that were pretty well fitted to my face were thrown off my face, which I never did find. Again I churned, trying to grasp my breath. The saving grace with the third wave was that it literally threw me into the shelf going up to the sand, and I was able to escape. However, these three waves were the biggest waves we saw that day, and they were probably the biggest waves I have ever personally seen. When I saw the waves crashing down on me, I had the sense that they were about the same size as surf waves I often see in pictures in Hawaii. I shared that with someone after who was on the land, and they agreed.

This was probably the scariest minute or so of my life. Even breaking my femur or being an innocent bystander in the middle of a police shootout doesn't compare with this event. I have been an avid beach goer, and when I am there, I spend most of the time in the water. Reality and mortality hit me today, and I kind of wonder if I developed a little phobia to the water; I don't know.

The reason I write this post on this site was after reflecting on this scary situation I find myself in, I realize that during this entire time, I didn't cry out to God, or say a quick prayer to Mary, or even ask God for mercy. My religious sense vanished at a moment of complete desperation for help. And I am not the type of guy to forget about religion or God. I think about it every day. I pray every day. So why, at this moment of need, did I seem to completely forget the one thing that saved me out there: God?

Now, I know that there were obviously other things to think about, such as staying alive and getting air, things that are important for basic survival. But prayer is also important for basic survival. If we want to get out of life alive, then we must have faith in God for Him to raise us up after we die. My faith didn't fail me out there, but I did forget about it. This event is just a realization for me that to grow in holiness involves daily prayer and important charitable works and a whole bunch of other things. But it also involves us crying out to God when all hope seems lost, when we are hanging on by a thread, when we are ready to go under, not being sure if you were going to get another grasp of air. Holiness is really tested in these situations. Now, that being said, I know God helped me, as the third wave did throw me on the sand, where it could have sucked me out for more fun. And I would have asked for help, if I had remembered God in my moment of need.

There is an old saying that the Knights of Columbus are familiar with. It is tempus fugit, momento mori. It is Latin for "Time flies, remember death." It has been in my mind today, and so one thing I learned is in all situations, we must cry out for help, and try not to forget God in our moment of need. In the end, it isn't the near death experience that I am troubled by; I pray every day God would have mercy on me, and I pray that he would answer that prayer when I do die. I am actually more troubled by the fact that I forgot the one thing I depend on, my religion, which helps me get through everything else. But that escaped me today. I must do better to remember God in everything I do, so that in a big test, I don't forget him. This isn't something I am beating myself up over, but it is a realization that I must stay strong in prayer.

Our Lady, Help of Christians, pray for us.